Of Grumpies and Snow Shacks

My distaste for night shifts has reached an all time high. I have decided to apply elsewhere. i truly enjoy orthopedics and trauma cases- and i love my floor during the day. Even though it is busier than that shaved snow shack on a hot day in the park i ride my bike by. i just decided that i can't handle all the grumpies it causes me to have. this last week i woke up so grumpy and i got mad at eric for changing a bike tire in the middle of the kitchen floor (i guess i was somewhat justified in that grumpy) and then i ran back to bed and covered my head back up and cried. no, sobbed is more like it. i was just so broken- broken that i slept only 13 hours in 3 days, broken over not seeing eric and then when i see him i get all grumpy, broken over not greeting the days with joy.

i have an interview this monday with the orthopedic center. i am not entirely sure what they do there. what i really meant to do was talk with the nurse recruiter about the job, find out about hours etc, but suddenly the next email i received informed me of my interview on monday afternoon. this will be monday after i work a night shift. hmm, i hope i don't say anything too weird in the interview. so i can't really say what the job is about. i am only hoping it is similar to what i do now only during the day. i still want my 12 hour day shift b/c i can't stand the thought of working 5 days a week. not after getting used to only working 3 days a week- horrible, long days, but still that left 4 days off. and i can schedule around climbing, skiing, friends, vacations, etc. nurses really do have the best job for being a fanatic about something. i mean, who else earns enouh money to get by but also get enough time to get really good at a hobby? all my bumming friends (all 2 of them) are jealous of my job b/c of the time off it gives me.

if i get this job and it is during the day, i have this feeling it will be harder for me to blog. i mean, all my past blogs have been at some ungodly hour of the night. and all b/c of night shift. yes, i am working a nother night shift. for all of you out there who are counting, that would make 7 night shifts in the past 2 weeks. it doesn't make sense sometimes that i do only work 3 days a week, but i promise they always screw uson that and i also promise they are always right. i am continually looking at my shcedule trying to find a weakness- some week they over scheduled me. but they never do. they are more clever than that. you see, our weeks start on saturday and end on friday. b/c of this we can work more than normal. or so it feels.it's really weird. i'd have to show you on paper for you to really get it.

i fell asleep this afternoon. for 3 hours. i must be really tired. i feel deep down tired. tired like i haven't had a decent sleep in a week and a half. and that's b/c i haven't. i haven't slept right since we came back from colorado. so ia m deep down bone tired. and i keep having really weird dreams. like remember when you have a dream like you are back in junior high and you have forgotten your locker combination and suddenly bad things start happening from allt he most popular kids leaving you out to having a pop quiz in math? well, those types of dreams happen to me only about nursing. like things i forgot to do, or mixing up the time on the clock at the bedside with the numbers of a patient's wound pump. that one really got me.

every night at 2 am we run the stairs in the hospital. i am on the top floor, 6. there is one more floor, 7, but taht door is always locked b/c i think it leads to a secret balcony where the CEO gets to watch the sunset every night and the 4rth of july fireworks. we lowly employees dont' get access. it has a sign on it saying that only "F&E" get access. every time i get to the top of the stairs i wonder what "f&e" stand for, and i always try the door, just in case some night i find it unlocked and we get to go onto the top of the hospital and sip martinis from the CEO's private wet bar. anyway, we start on B level, which is 2 levels below 1-t he lobby. we run all the way to 7, which is a total of 9 floors all together. i am sad to say that by level 2.5 my quads are burning so badly my rate drops by 1/2. i am sweating and puffing by the top. sometimes my throat burns b/c it is so dry here too. but i'll etell you what, it wakes me up and warms me up (i get super cold in the hospital at night. there is nothing, i mean nothing, better than one of those warmed blankets from our blanket warmer. the warmth only lasts an average of 1.23 minutes however. sad.)

i have started listening to my ipod on night shifts. i don't know if this is allowed or not. but it is night shift and we do all sorts of " unallowed" things. like drink milk from the fridge, take cokes, and eat the patient's pudding. we have excellent pudding here by the way. so i listen to my ipod, only not very loud so i can still do evertyhing i am suposd to. it hs really helped make the time go by quicker.

tonight i have listened to: some french lady eric said i would like. i do like her. i think it is called Faux Movement. counting crows. ryan adams. tring to guess what bands i will like during the night is like trying to guess what i will like to eat at 2 am. which is like trying to guess why that little girl who lives on my street always comes running up the car when i drive home. she scares me. actually, she hasn't been running up the car anymore since 2 weeks ago a little girl just one block from our house got kidnapped and murdered by the next door neighbor. it was a horrible story and has made me keep the doors locked even during the day light.

Lean Cuisine usually hits the spot.


confession: i like manicured nails. how can a climber like manicured nails? i don't really know. but every time i see a set of really pretty natural(have to be natural, i don't like fake nails) i always covet them. i try so hard to have good nails. without fail everytime i almost get pretty nails we go climb something taht chews them up. i made eric go buy me some nail files at a drug store in estes park in colorado before we went climbing in Lumpy just so i could file my nails and keep them nice. filing is the only way i have a chance of haing any kind of nail after climbing. i have to get them real trim. and then everytime something snaggs one of them i have to file it real quick bfore i rip off the rest. i need to file my right pinky nailright now. sally hansen is my idol.

to date i have caught very many spiders in my basement. i only say "very many" b/c i have been too afraid to look at my traps set up on the shelves. i have only looked at the sticky trap i have on the floor in plain view. there are at least 15 spiders on that trap. who ever thought that sticky traps could attract spiders? i thought that only worked on lower insects like flies. these traps are reqlly freaky- especially after they get 15 spiders on them. i spray for the spiders at least once every couple of weeks, and then put these traps out. i really hate the spiders down there. mostly b/c it's where all our gear is and i fully expect a spider to come crawling out of my backpack onto my shoulder some day while hiking. ugh! it gives me the creeps and i don't normally mind spiders. just spiders that have potential.

my friend lindsay porter is moving to ft collins, CO. i am so excited about this b/c those who move to Co are already half way to utah and i have a 50% greater chance of seeing them than those of you in arkansas. she's going to come down to southern utah with sam when we meet to go climbing in october. lindsay is one of my best friends, and we havne't lived in the same place since 2001. she's just like that though- a deep down kindred spirit.

blogging really keeps me awake. i am afraid to stop typing tonight b/c just a minute ago when i was sitting here i started to feel that black velvet blanket of sleep start to wrap itself around me. so bless you if you are still reading this. i should say all of you who are still reading this should leave me a comment reading "velvet" and then i will know who of you actually gets all the way through this. if you do get all the way through this you must be eric at work needing a break, or esther pretending to do research on housing. hahah- j/k esther!

i wonder how long this blog will last? will i be 50 years old some day and instead of looking back on a yellow-paged diary, will i be reading this online? i probably won't be able to get all the way though it.

it is exactly 3:42 am and a patient just asked me to get something prescribed for her hemorroids. what if i paged a doctor right now, woke him up, and asked him for that order? i think he would fire me. i think i will go tell the patient it can wait until morning.

all for now.