night shift ripped me a new one

i just got done working a string of night shifts that brought me to a new definition of 'low point'. i worked two nights, had one night off, and then worked 3 nights. this is about the worst scenario you can imagine for working nights b/c what in the heck do you do with that one random night off in the middle? you can't go back to a day time schedule b/c your body just doesn't work like that, so i had to do a night shift except not work. eric went to bed, i cleaned, picked up, watched a movie, and finally went to bed 'early' (3 am). by sunday night's shift i was miserable. so miserable in fact that i cried at work. i thought i was getting seriously depressed and needed something. then i remembered that i had just got done working basically 6 nights in a row and my body was trying to revolt against my brain. i was so tired, worn thin, burnt out, and i know i wasn't a very nice nurse. in fact, a patient's family member came by and said, 'hey nurse, why don't you take a happy pill?'. do you know how mad that made me? you don't freakin' say that to a night workin' nurse. grrr. i wanted to tell him to go take a stupid happy pill-suppository and see how much he liked it. i was so bummed though. then i had a few days off and came to work today. but still, last night i coudln't get to sleep b/c my body hasn't readjusted yet. it still thinks it is supposed to be dead asleep at 10am and not awake. so i have slept waaay in the past few mornings and then this mornign i coudln't wake up. of course, last night i coudln't go to sleep so i had to take a sleep pill which did not help me wake up this morning. ahhh, it is such a hard cycle. i was very ready to quit though after these last night shifts. i have been toying with the idea very seriously, and have becomemore serious since the night shifts and the decrease in nursing personnel has really affected our unit. it's been really hard. and for once, work has started to affect my personal life. usually, i can leave work and work doesn't come with me. but when i am this tired and worn out and unhappy for 12 hours of work at a time, it has to affect my home life. i didn't see eric for a full week when i was working those night shifts. it's just too hard. and i am not a night person to begin with either.

my oregano plant died. and it was a house warming gift from coby! however, i think it died of simple causes: died of thirst. yes, i had to admit that my green thumb utterly failed me. i thought it was the lack of sunlight, or bad soil or something. but nope, it was just lakc of water. but the little plastic info thing that comes with the plant says it likes heat and dryness. so i thought i didn't neet to water it but once a week. turns out my basil plant almost died as well,a nd that's when i figured out that if i only just water them they live. so i've saved my basil plant and now i water allm y plants every other day. i almost lost my mint too- it looked really bad. but somehow it made a come back. i am very excited about my little gardens.

summer has turned suprisingly hot and sorta uneventful. but maybe that's just the tired night shift nurse talking there. eric and i are about to embark upon our second year of marriage. i just can't believe that was a year ago. it seems so much shorter and so much longer at the same time. i think of it now in seasons: fall=alone and sad. winter=snowboarding. spring=climbing. summer=working night shifts...hahah. no, summer=friends, climbing, hot.

i haven't gotten to climb as mcuh as i want- but that's b/c i could climb all day and haven't gotten to b/c it was so hot (and night shift- it's always the reason for everything) speaking of climbing: i had to back off my first climb and actually leave gear for the first time. well, actually coby left the gear but i coudln't rescue it either. so we left two stoppers and two good caribiners on a climb called wheels on fire rated a .9. it was a really hard.9 though. hardest i've ever tried. flaring crack i coudln't get into. it's on the list to go back and do though.

A MESSAGE TO ALL WHO READ MY BLOG: YOU ARE ALL WELCOME TO STAY WITH US THIS WINTER AND SKI!!!! i asked about getting discounted tickets for friends from my ski bum friends. but apparently the ski resorts are very stingy with those discounts and only give employees 6 or 7 a year and so it's too hard to get ahold of something for cheap. sorry about that. lodging is free though- that always helps! :) fyi: the resort you need to look into is called the canyons ski resort in park city, utah. that is where i will have my ski pass to and where you should get your passes so we can go together. also, i am offering free snowboarding lessons to anyone who wants to come out and learn- THAT'S A DEAL!!

how did this get so long again? thanks for bearing with my long-wind-ed-ness.