New Address

my new address is: well, i am thinking better of this idea. at first i was going to post my new address online, and then i thought that eric probably would not like that /bc then all sorts of random scary people could get the address and possibly come find me or something. and since it is the middle of the night (yes another night shift) i can't call him (although i called him last night at 1 am and he did answer bless him!) to ask if i can post the address i think i shall not post it. however, if you would like my new address by all means email me and i will email you back with it. it's a much better address than my previous address b/c it's not as long and there's no apartment blah blah blah. for those of you who have lived in an apartment, isn't it such a bummer to have to write out this long street address and then at the very end tack on something lame like, "apt #31"?. and on applications for things like grocery discount cards etc you always have to put apt #31 and then you feel like a weird-0 b/c you haven't bought a house and can't just write a street address. i feel like a much more accomplished member of society by being able to just write the street address and not have to show the world that yes, i sitll live in an apartment. the day that i own a house will be special indeed. that feels like it will be very far away though.

on sleeping during the day after night shifts: it's very hard and rather confusing to sleep during the day when you are used to sleeping at night. i usually do very random and strange things during the day. frequently i will sleep walk around the house/apartment (see above note on houses vs apartemtns :) ) and wake up half way through a stride realizing that i am very confused and can't figure out what i am doing. whatever i am doing however is always very passionate and fervent. like i have this feeling that it must be done. today for example, i woke up very confused thinking that i just absolutely had to change my shirt. i told you it was random. so i groped around on the floor (my eyes don't open very well during the day sleep) and found the shirt i had been wearing the day before that luckily i had left on the floor. i say 'luckily' b/c if it hadn't been there, you better believe i would have gotten up out of bed and tried to open my dresser drawers and figure out where a shirt was that i could wear. i am telling you i get very fixated on these things. one time eric found me trying to open my dresser drawer insisting on a Tshirt instead o the tank top i was wearing. and i just kept insisting so he tried to find one for me. and then i didn't want the gray one i wanted the navy blue one. so he had to find that. it's weird i'm telling you. i can't explain it at all except that my brain is very befuddled. so i was lucky that today i had a shirt right by thebed that i could just change into. b/c then my mind was satisfied and i could lay back down and sleep. i am also lucky that the shirt was beside the bed b/c right now eric is in arkansas and he wasn't around to put me back to bed and tell me that i am dreaming. he has to do that often too. i sit up in bed at night and think something is happening and start talking a lot and he has to lay me back down and tell me that i am dreaming. i only ever vaguely remember these occurences the next morning. eric usually tells me about them over breakfast though. i've never had such erratic sleep behaviors before i moved to utah. a lot of things changed when we moved to utah, and i thought it was the move. but i have decided that the real reason things have been so incredibly strange is working. eing in a hospital. working night shifts. new schedules. constnatly changing things. it just happened in accordance with the move to utah so i blame utah when really it's the hospital's fault. strange things like my stomach being more sensitive, having outrageous burps (which occurred after having horrible flu attacks last fall an di can't get rid of them! it's awful!) not being able to tell what i want to eat, getting low blood sugars b/c i didn't eat soon enough and couldn't decide what my body wanted to eat so i just didn't eat anything and then suddenly i go bonk and have to have something really quickly. but that is defnietly related to the hospital. b/c of the long hours and such. anyway, the strange sleep patterns started after the move too. part of that is probably geting used to sleeping with someone in the bed. but i've gotten over most of that. nwo i miss eric b/c he's not there (he's in arkansas like i said earlier).

so that's all the thoughts for this night shift. enjoy.

Edward Abbey would be proud

The Desert. yes, Desert spelled with a capital 'D'. Because it deserves such respect. i have a new, healthy respect for the desert b/c the last 5 days i have spent more time than i like to think there. last weekend i went down to zion nat'l park to do a little canyoneering. except that it was a lot of canyoneering. 9 miles of canyoneering to be exact. and i loved it. and i disliked part of it too. first of all, it is flaming hot in zion right now. oh, say, about the 110's. hot. HOT. hotter than i was in canyonlands in may. which was really hot then. even the breeze at night was hot in zion. like 95 degrees hot. so we camped out with a few friends (well, try 8 other people) and saturday morning we woke bright and early to do a hike called 'the subway'. many people have heard of the zion narrows. this is a long hike (16 miles) that is rarely done in its entirety, but invovles a narrow slot canyon with steep walls that people can walk inbetween. the subway is better than that though. it requires a permit to hike the subway. and only 40 people are allowed in its canyons on the weekends. i was one of the lucky 40 last weekend. and the freinds i went with had tried the subway lottery system 3 years ina row to get the permit. so i felt pretty lucky. it was beautiful. we hiked through what felt like california, only it was utah. and then we went down down down into this itty bitty slow canyon filled with water most of the time. and the water was cold cold cold. like take your breath away and try to swim as fast as you can even in 110 degree heat cold. mostly it was a hike through knee to thigh to ankle deep water, but for a couple of hundred feet we actually had to swim-= yes we couldn ot touch the bottom! it was fantastic, amazing- not enough cool words to describe it. i have some really great pics. but i have to wait until we get internet into the new house to post those. itw as one of hte best hikes i've ever done. it was nice and cool down in the canyon and walking through the water was so much fun. plus it was with some really great friends and we just had good times all around. we camped again that night, and we were all very sore and tired. and camping did not feel good b/c the ground was hard and again, you guessed it, it was hot. the breeze was hot. i was happy to ge thome to my bed and the coolness of our shaded new house. it was one great trip. i'd do it again in a heart beat, except that it'd be so hard to get the permit. the hike out of the canyon wasn't so pleasant however. still great scenery, but it was really long and we didn't know when we were supposed to be cutting up out of the canyon so it was mentally taxing. when you are hiking and you do'ntknow the end point you begin to wonder with eveyr step where the end is and when you will get there and why int he world did you ever start this hike in the first place and where is the car etc etc. we finally found the turn up hill and hiked straight up hill for about a quarter of a mile. i'd like to say that that was the end of my desert fun, but i got home sunday night, slept a good nights sleep and then monday morning i struck out again.

coby, my climbing partner, and i decided we wanted to climb this really remote alpine wall back in the wasatch range. it is called lone peak. and it is beautiful. it looks like patagonia, pure granite spires. but for my friends who don't climb, that woulnd't really mean too much. basically, it is one of the most breathtaking, beautiful places i can imagine to climb. and it is remote. very remote. well, we started off monday morning landen down with packs weighing at least 40 lbs. and that's b/c not only did we have to carry a tent, sleeping bag, food, etc for camping, we also had to carry rope, a climbing rack (that is our protection devices for the climb itself), shoes, harnesses, etc. it was heavy. the heaviest pack i've ever carried. and it hurt. well we'd heard the approach (the hike to the wall) was bad, but i never thought it'd be this bad. it was horrific. i don't have words to describe how bad it was. and the worst part is, we weren't on the exact right trail, and what usually takes ppl 6 hours took us 9 and we didn't get to climb at all in the end.!!! what a bummer. we hiked straight up hill for 7 hours, it was the worse pain i've ever endured. and then we found this great meadow, called hamongog- german for meadow. but they are all called hamongogs in the wasatch. i guess that's b/c it sounds a lot cooler. so we found this beautiful hamongog and called it a night and struck camp. we found a really nifty outlaw cabin up there too, which come to find out once saved a family's life froma terrible blizzard. but that's beside the point b/c it did not save my knees or calf muscles or back from our terrible hike. we got up tuesday morning and decided we were going to find that cirque (mountain circle) if it took all we had. we hiked up more and more and more and finally came out exactly across form the wall we wanted to be at the base of. and ther ewas ahuge snow covered bowl between us and it, and a big cliff, and a bunch of boulders and too much more hiking. we came up the wrong canyon. we had taken the wrong trial. and we didn't get to climb. all that pain and no climbing. well, we started back down our stupid trial and i thought it had been bad on the way up. it was nothing campred to the way down. my knees felt like they were being operated on without being put to sleep. i wanted a total knee replacement when we got down. which i thought was never going to happen. we hiked down for 5 hours. now, you tell me that that trail was only 6 miles long. ha! no way. i can hike down hill at a pace of at least, the mimimum 2 miles an hour. that would put it at a minimum of 8 miles in. but i think it was more like 10. and added to that, we gained 6,000 feet of elevation gain at that. that is 1000 feet per mile if it was 6 miles. and that's like alaska straight up hill. and straight down hill. so, at the top of the mountain the temperature was pleaseant. enjyable even. but at hte bottom, for the last half of the hike, we were gain in desert. sage, scrubs, dirt, and heat that radiated off the groun and bounced on your face till you were dripping in sweat. and i was dripping in this anti-humid environment.

so hopefully i have discouraged any one from wanting to climb beautiful granite spires far far away. the even sadder thing is, coby and i are planning on going back in the next 2 weeks. now that we've seen the cirque, it's all we can do to not think about it all the time. it's awe inspiring. one of God's best moments in modest utah anyway. and despite all that heart ache and leg ache and back ache, it's worth doing the hike again. i can't wait to post pictures from the top. i've got a few from our horrible hike, one in particualr taken right afterward that i will post when we get the internet up. it's funny. we look awful and it's great. today my calves hurt worse than ever before. and i've been dead tired. we didn't have enough calories in food with us to do that kind of hike and face that mental anguish. we didn't know where we were exactly and how long the hike was and that wears on your mind more than your body. that is what is more exhausting that the physical aspect of hiking. still, i've never been so sore and tired before. and now i am doing a night shift. my body is just sacked! i'm ready to just sleep. a lot.

and now eric is gone. he went to arkansas for a reunion with his old bible study. it's so hard to have him gone. it's like missing a half of your life. nobody there to greet me when i get home early in the morning. nobody to make my side of the bed warm. nobody to eat dinner/breakfast with. nobody to have a hug. nobody to complain to about how much i hate night shift. nobody to just love on and be loved by. i guess we are still very much in that honeymoon phase. but i am certain deep down that eric and i will always bein that honeymoon phase. i don't ever want to have him leave me for trips and i hate leaving him for trips. it's a bitter sweet feeling. b/c you are happy that you or he is getting to experience something grand and fun. but at the same time you are doing it sans the other. and that makes the experience only half as grand or half as fun. it's so wonderful to be married!

i have been reading the princess bride. it's great. it's hilarious. anyone who enjooys the movie should read the book. only it's way different. but twice as funny. if you can believe that. it's actually the abridged version, not the same original by S. Morgenstern. Morgenstern actually wrote a terribly long novel as a political satire between Guilder and Florin back in the day. so this other guy, i can't remember his name, wrote an abridged version of the princess bride and took out all hte policital mumbo-jumbo and told just hte exciting part. i haven't been able to put it down b/c it's so great. defnitely recommended. i also started john krakaours (spelled that wrong sorry) book 'into the wild'. so far it's great. i really enjoy his books and his writing style.

the house. wow. i can't say enough good things about the house. i simply love it. i planted an herb garden last week and some mint behind the house. but my mint is dying b/c id doens't have enough sun light i think. it's sad b/c i love mint plants. an di love the clothes line. my towels and sheets smell so fresh and clean. hurray! and everything has a wonderful place in our basement with all the gear hanging up just so. it makes my heart happy to have a real house. an dmy oven actually works! the last oven was wack-o. i couldn't ever tell exactly what degree setting i was putting it at so all the food had different times than what the recipe suggested. htis oven rocks though and it's gas so it heats more evenly. enough about ovens. i am really happy and feel god has really blessed us and answered our prayers for ahouse.

june has been a really fun month. in fact, if i stop and think about it, every month since february has had a great trip, whether climbing or hiking, invovled and they have all been memorable. next month for our anniversary (eric was sjupposed to surprise me but with the move and all and needing to know what things to really pack an dwhat things to leave out he had to tell me where we were going) we are going to rocky mountain nat'l park for sme backpakcing, hopefully a sumit of long's peak, and then some climbing ona nearby mountain called Lumpy. nice name huh? i am way excited about that. and then in august we have a couple of friends from back home coming to visit (ben casey and brian hirschy) i can't wait to show them our play ground. seriously you guys, you all need to move to utah!! whohoo!!

house, yard, garden, dog

oh the joy of newness! i couldn't be any more pleased today. last evening we signed the papers to rent a house downtown. it's so perfect. such a God-send. we've been looking for a month now, which isn't that long. and our current lease isn't actually up until the end of july. but we found IT. sometimes you just know. it's a cute, little house at the end of a small street near the middle of downtown, 3 miles from work (but we can ride our above ground subway system for free to the U). it has a yard. let me repeat: it has a yard!! it's a two bedroom 'bungalow' (prolly the best terms for it) with a washer and dryer (praise god, that was the hardest thing to find) and a basement for all our gear to be stored in. a wonderful new kitchen (a must!) and a yard!! whohoo! it is fenced in, with a clothes line. double whoohoo! i think though, that one of the best things about this place is that now i can have a small garden. i want to grow herbs mostly, but also a few tomato plants. i want to have oregano, thyme, basil, mint, dill, and lavender. it's perfect for that. and we met the neighbors last night- cute young couple with a little son. the realtors said they listed the place on friday. we signed on tuesday. they also had a whole big stack of applications to choose from. but as soon as they saw our application, they gave it to us, without even a credit check. i think being a nurse helps that out. they see my employment (and a PhD grad student isn't too bad either!) and think we will be at least fairly responsible. i happen to think we are every property owners best dream: we ar excellent renters. we take care of things, keep them clean, and now i am even going to put in a garden. another HUGE bonus of this place: fenced in yard. that translates: dog!!! or, for those of you who know me, wootie. (i call dogs, at least small ones, wooties) we won't get one just yet, but a dog does mean more money, time, and kennels when we go climbing. but still, now we have the possibility whereas before we couldn't even think of it. so we will start moving soon. we have a month and a half to move though, cuz we can't break the lease in the other place. so we will have a nice leisurely move. that's kinda nice. not worth this much money, but this place was too perfect to pass up. it suits us wonderfully. i am really excited about it. i've ben thinking about my little garden all day. i can't wait to go outside and pick my herbs to cook with. and have a nice kitchen to move around in. it's great. it's totally god. we've been praying for this for 6 months now, knowing we wanted tomove and not knowing where. and the hunt has been pretty frustrating with so many pros and cons to each place. and eric having different opinioins on what is nice and what is acceptable. (he could live in a tent mind you..) so we finally found someting perfect and i've been thanking god all day. i can't wait to spend my first night there.

other developements in my life: climbing. mostly just climbing. and it's been a blast. i lead what in my mind was my best lead yet yesterday. Little cottonwood canyon is famous for it's alpine granite, and sandbagged ratings :(meaning that the climbing is actually harder than what the rating says it is- often this is b/c it was rated back in the day when a 9 was the hardest climb ever. today the hardest climb ever is a 16. so go figure) it was a tricky pitch about 300 feet up, with barely anything to put y our feet on and a very thin crack that only my finger tips fit in. i have to admit: very often while climbing the thoughts that go through my head go something like this: 'i hate rock climbing, why do i rock climb? this sucks! oh my gosh this is so scary. i hate rock climbing...whew, that was a hard pitch. man the view is awesome up here, i love rock climbing. it feels so good to see an obstacle in front of you and get over it. rock climbing is so cool..." i've never felt stronger on the rock, i am climbing things now that i thought i'd be climbing by the end of thes ummer. i'ts been a lot o fun. sure, my apartment is a wreck though. it looks awful, i haven't cleaned in 3 weeks, and it needs it. but i can say that i've been climbing! :) tha'ts how it goes though. eric doesn't mind after all! june in salt lake is beautiful. the weather isn't too heinous yet, quite pleasant actually. we are reaching higher temps though- the 90s are upon us, yet the heat is dry so it is so bearable. plus, you can always go up in the canyons and the temp will be 10-20 degrees lower. i love these mountains. i love them. i really do. everybody should come see my mountains. they are good for my soul.