Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A Desert Rose

i got on the internet today and actually looked up a friend's blog. it got me all excited again to blog. everybody who is cool blogs. so if i want to be cool i better blog. at least, all the cool people in arkansas blog. i don't know anyone in utah that blogs, but then again, i don't know anyone in utah so that might make the difference. i was thinking today about my old friends- the ones back in fayetteville and arkansas etc. what if i went to a bible study tonight with them- but we had all just moved to the same new city? who would talk? how long would it take for me to become friends with them again? and would i think the same things about them now, meeting them as a post-college graduate, then i did when in school? i wonder...i still think i would love absolutely every one of them. i miss old friends. wha ti miss most is the laugh. at least, that is what i miss most right now. i used to laugh very very hard with them- 'hard' isn't even the right word. i descirbed it to someone else as 'the' laugh- one that is free, honest, and deep. one that you don't care if you snort in the middle of it. that's a friend laugh. one day i'll have that here i am sure. it is just taking time. i think i have begun to find the friends i was searching for though. i started going to a bible study and church in park city. that's a cute moutain town/ski resort place about 30 miles north east from salt lake. it's beautiful up there, and cooler in summer than it is in the valley. i am excited about hanging out in park cityt his summer. my ' new' friends make me laugh too, but it is sort of that nervous laugh you make when you have just met a group of funny people. people that you know will one day probably make you laugh 'the' laugh, but right now you are just sort of...a fringer. yueah, that's the word. FRINGER. i don't like being a fringer. my personality wasn't made to be a fringer. eric, on the other hand, was mde to be a fringer. he's good at 'fringing'. that's why he's good for me. i could and will speak more of fringing etc but it is exactly 1900 and that means i get to give report and leave work whoohooo! 1900 is the magic hour when i work a 12 hour shift. it means i don't have to deal with any more requests or demands, and that i get to go home. or in this case, up to park city to bible study to my 'new' friends and my 'fringe'.

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