this isn't the bible belt

so, one of the nicest things about being a nurse is the time off. i view my job as the thing i do to pay bills, so that i can afford to play. my job is not my life. my job is the avenue through which i afford my life. i just got done with a 5 day-off spree, in which i took no vacation. now, doesn't everyone want to be a nurse?! alas, today i went back to work though. i must say, waking up at 0530 3 days in a row is kind hard. i sleep in on the days i have off (if sleeping in utnil 0800 counts that is..) but my body never gets in a routine. so i'll be really tired on saturday morning when i actually get to sleep in for the first time in 3 days. still, i really enjoy the flexibility of my job. i think that is one of the strongest good points about being a nurse. flexibility. otherwise, being a nurse is just downright hard. (i am always blogging about nursing b/c i am at work when i blog..) when you meet strangers, day to day, they are, in general, nice. right? the person who served you ice cream this afternoon, he/she was nice weren't they? and the person who let you out in traffic this morning- they were probably a nice, amiable person looking out for someone else in the morning rush. and what about the checker at the grocery store? they were cordial, greeted you, and politely told you how much you owed. HOWEVER, put any of those ppl in the hospital and they turn into mean, horrible, hateful, demanding, thankless OGRES! either that, or, people who go to the hospitals are in general meaner than the average joe. i've never met so many mean ppl in my entire life! most ppl i meet outside of my job are nice, but maybe that's b/c the ppl in retial and grocery stores are customer satisfation related. maybe they actually really are mean ppl. but ppl in the hospital are just down right, outright, not-even-trying-to-disguise-it mean. and i know that they are out of their element, uncomfortable, in pain, and in general feeling rather awkard. but if i, or any of my friends, were in the hospital, i garantee they would at least say "please' and 'thank you'. or consider the job of the nurse. or apologize for being a bother. 90% of ppl in thehospital don't even go there. maybe i expect too much. maybe they expect too much. the job of a nurse is full of pre-conceived expectations. they should answer me when i need them right away. they should wait on only me. they should, they should they should etc. if you respond to this post you could tell me what you would expect from a nurse if you were hospitalized tonight from a car wreck. maybe that would help me understand my job better. one area i have for growth is in the spiritual realm. i deeply desire to pray with my patients. but it has been really hard to initate that. sometimes i wonder, what if they are mormon? what will they think or respond? and other times i just don't know how to bring that up. i've been praying about it for months, asking god to show me the correct time to bring up such a desire with a patient. i forget all too often too. b/c i get hungry. or tired. or i want to blog (whoops!) but i think it would be a very poweful and good ministry here in the hospital. i mean, i kind of have victims. they can't get away! they are stuck in their beds, hurting, or unable to walk fast enough to get away from me praying...tha'ts kinda a weird way to think about it though...

tonight i am going to bible study again. i am excited about it. i am always excited about it though. when i used to lead a bible study in fayetteville, i kinda dreaded it. it was awkward, and not many ppl talked. and only a certain few talk at this new bible study, but i can tell more ppl will start to open up with some time. i am still so interested in seeing what they have to say about studies i have done personally or corporately over the past few years. maybe ppl in utah were taught differently...after all, this isn't the bible belt.

eshter's stay went fabulously! she went skiing one day, and then got on my snowboard at the end of the day and did really well. the next day i took her rock climbing. i msut say i am quite proud of myself for getting her as sore as she is now. i don't think she can get herself out of bed without groaning. only, she lives alone so no one wil know. we explored some new parts of salt lake/park city yesterday. we went to the DI or Deseret Industry. which is a mormon owned thrift store. and it rocked! there were tons of good name brand clothes! i found a north face denali vest(for men) and bought it for 4$!! then we went to nordstrom rack- a discount store from the original store. it was super cheap and had super cute things! i got a fun pair of mary jane shoes that look totally 'seattle' (see my comment on gennie davis' blog here ) then we went to park city and check out the factory outlet stores. the banana republic was quite good considering in recent months they have upped their prices by almost 75% and have decided to beome more "boutiquish" and not sell as many of the same thing and just make what htey do sell mor expesive. the ann taylor was great. i bough t acardigan for 10$. only thing is when i go shopping these days, i don't need anything anymore. cuz where do i wear it??! i wear scrubs most of the time, and then when i am not at work i wear my patagonia climbing clothes or just comfy stuff around. but summer is here which mean si can wear my skirts again , so pershaps i'll start ot wear allt hose cute clothes i have from being in the south and needing to live up to southern belle par. then we went to the gap outlet. it was alright. not spectactular. but the thing with outlets and thrift sotres is you have to go often to get the best deals.

well, it is approximately 1900, and that means i get to give report on my patietns and go home. whooppeee!!!!

Esther and i riding at Snowbird, April 2006--sooooo fun!!! More pics of Esther's outdoor adventures on her blog.

Skiing in POWDER at the end of April

so Esther Yang is here visiting me this week. It's been a blast so far. today we went skiing/snowboarding at Snowbird in Little Cottonwood Canyon. She did quite well as it had been a full decade since she had last touched a pair of skis. unfortunately, snowbird is quite steep, with virtually no green runs. so she was thrust out into the world of blue-rated runs far too quickly. but at the end of the day we retired to the bunny slope(the easiest run on the mountain) and switched gear- she put on my snowboard and i used her skiis. it was so fun! she did very well, for the first time. if you have never tried to snowboarding, it is super hard- it feels nearly impossible when you first begin. so we started her with "falling leaf' which is the movement you make to first get down the hill when you have no idea which way is up or down on the snowboard. she did really well with it. i have more pictures i'll post later (by the way, i just really discovered thsi whole picture thing- can you tell?! i've posted like 10 pictures in the last day. but now you all can see what i actualy do out here and what it really looks like!) but what is the craziest thing about today is that snowbird probably will recieve around 3-5 inches of snow by the end of the day. it's april for crying out loud!! how can there be snow?! but there is- we still have a base depth of 150 inches and the snow is still falling. so, not only did esther get to ski at the end of april (when it is like 95 degrees in arkansas) but she got some powder to boot. that's utah for you- everybody should live here (except that then it would be too crowded and i'd wish that everyone would leave). so, hurray for snow in april and a good day of riding!!!

Beautiful Utah

Ahhh, yes! a classic Indian Creek climb: Scarface, 5.11 with a beautiful view in the backgroun. i can't believe i live here!!!!

Me and Eric on top of the same tower near the Fischer Towers, March 2006.

Sam Higby and I on top of a random tower near the Fischer Towers, Southern Utah, March 2006. We went to climb Ancient Art, but there were so many parties climbing that day that we decided to climb this little 30 ft tower near the parking lot. It was fun!

Me in Monument Valley, Arizona, March 2006. you can't do much in monument valley except drive through it. but still, it's an impressive sight. there is no rock climbing in monument valley b/c it is navajo reservation land, and is considered sacred by the tribe.

Eric and I in Arches National Park, Delicate Arch, February 2006. We stopped by Arches Nat'l Park on our way to climb in Indian Creek- a crack climbing mecca in southern utah, about 45 minutes from Moab.

Leading Binou's Crack, 5.9, Indian Creek, Utah. February 2006

Leading a random 5.8 in Red Rocks, Nevada, April 2006

Climbing in St. George, Utah February 2006. Coby is my new climbing partner!

Snowboarding at Snowbird, Little Cottonwood Canyon, Salt Lake, Utah, December 2005. I had just gotten off the bunny slope, and i think i fell right after this picture was taken! Learning to snowboard was one of the hardest things i've ever done. But snowbird is an uncommonly steep resort with 2800 vertical feet from base to top. i now can ride much better! :)

Bridal Veil Falls, Provo Canyon, Utah. January 2006. Ice climbing-YIKES!! so fun, but scary with 28 pointy things all with lethal potential (two ice axes, one pair of crampons)

Backcountry snowboarding in Big Cottonwood Canyon, the Wasatch Range, Salt Lake City, Utah. February 2006. The hike up kills, but the smooth, fresh powder on the way down is worth every bit of effort.

trying to blog at work is hard

so i have some down time again at work. when does this happen? rarely i assure you. today has been a good day, but i had a hard time waking up. the reason i had a hard time waking up was b/c i went to a bible study last night and promised myself (and eric) that we would leave precisely at 2100. well 9 came and wentand i was having too good of a time to leave. so we didn't leave until 2130 and then i didn't get to sleep until 2230. that's late for me. way late. cuz i wake up at 0530 and need 8 hours of sleep. so this mronign i couldn't wake up unil 0601- and that's late for me b/c i leave the housat 0630. so i had to take a shower, eat breakfast, get dressed, and psych myself up for the day in 1/2 hour (oh, by the way, sorry to all who aren't military time savy. but that is how we operate at the hospital, and my digital watch is set to mil time, so my mind starts to think in it. then when i awnt to write that i actually left a house at 9:30pm i really think 2130. plus it takes a lot longer to type 9:30pm than it does 2130. so if you intend to read my blog and hear about time sensitive details, you will need to cope with the miliatry time) anyway, it was a late night and a lat emorning. nonetheless, work has been good. not too busy, obviously b/ ci am blogging. something really annoying at work today: i have to use a finger print scanner to get into the dispenser that holds allt he medications in the hospital. i went climbing 2 weekends ago near las vegas and now, just now, are the tips of my fingers peeling. and peeling so bad that my fingerprints are indistinguishable. so instead of being able to use my cool little FBI-wanna-be finger print scanner to get out my super high authorization drugs, i have to type out my ID number and password. it takes twice as long. talk about a drag! :) i have a nursing student with me today. it's so hard to teach a student. b/c you still have the same amount of patients, but also have to explain everythign you are doing, and let them do parts of it (and it always takes longer when you don't know what you are doing -aka student-) but i was a student once, i totally understand what a drag it is to have to follow around some nurse that just talks the whole day and you nearly fall asleep standing up. i was there once. not long ago actually. but now i udnerstand the nurse's side of it where it is super hard and slightly annoying to have to explain all things, plus do your job to your managers satsifaction and take on the extra responsibilty of explaining all things. sometimes the studnets are fun though cuz you can talk the whole day about everythign except being a nurse. but sometimes they do things like start IVs right before they have to leave the floor and leav eyou with blood everywhere and having to finish taping up the IV. that happend a couple of weeks ago. i still haven't forgiven the student whoe did that to me. and i saw him this mroning waiting to come on shift outside our break room. i didn't say hi. i guess that was mean of me, but geez, don't leave a nurse with half an IV!

the bible study last night was good. we talked about 1 peter 3- about husbands and wives. we got some good conversation going. i come from arkansas right, where everyone is on this john eldredge craze. i love john eldredge(i feel like i am spelling that wrong...) he's got great things to say, and writes with such passion that it is infectious and you get super excited to be a christian and god's child. but sometimes, in places like arkansas, john eldredge and other christian writers become christian pop culture. everybody reads them and raves about them b/c evryone else does and that is what is cool. ppl in utah have yet to discover the coolness of john eldredge. few of them have heard of him and if they have heard of him they stil haven't read much of his books. so i gave my new friend natalie 3 boosk last night: journey of desire, captivating, and waking the dead. waking the dead is his best book in my opinion. but we were talking about the differences in men and women of course, i could add my input from reading captivating and waking the dead. it was fun to talk about that kind of thing again. we are building great relationships with our new bible study. that is why i was writing bout being a fringer. i have had lots of opportunities to be a fringer in the past few weeks. meeting new ppl always gives you opportunity to be a fringer. last night i actually participated a lot in our conversations- thus ussuring me past the outermost fringe.i may even get to hang out with a few of the girls this weekend, which definitely means i won't be a fringer anymore.

speaking of this weekend, esther, my friend from fayettefville, arkansas is coming to visit me! she'll be here from saturday until tuesday. i am so excited to show someone around my new home, and all my new favorite haunts. we will probably go skiing/snowboarding (i snow board as it is easier on my knees than skiing is) yes, it's still snowing enough in utah to go skiing. whohoo! i love living in utah for the outdoors. i am going to take esther to the mountains and go rock climbing, maybe hiking unless the snow is too deep and then we will go snowshoeing instead. we will go out to eat at one of our favorite restaurants. it'll be such a good time. plus esther is a wonderful woman- deep and passionate and with so much to offer. i look forward to our conversations.

before esther comes, i am going to finish watching the rest of LOTR return of the king. we rented the extended version and it's so good. i've seen it before of course, but it is one of those movies you can always watch. i get so excited about it--i almost wish i could live in a time like that. where it seems that y ou are fighting against an enemy that you can see and know when you have achieved a clear victory b/c he lies dead at your feet. salt lake is much like LOTR- except in a spiritual sense. it is hard to make out exactly what or who your enemy is- he takes the form of fear, loneliness, depression, oppression, and darkness. you fight with a sword of truth, lightness, godliness, and yes there are victories and sometimes you feel you have broken through the enemy lines. but most of the time you feel as though y ou are fighting just to breathe. this is whole new blog though, and i think i hear one of my patient's IV pumps beeping... i'll have to continue later.

A Desert Rose

i got on the internet today and actually looked up a friend's blog. it got me all excited again to blog. everybody who is cool blogs. so if i want to be cool i better blog. at least, all the cool people in arkansas blog. i don't know anyone in utah that blogs, but then again, i don't know anyone in utah so that might make the difference. i was thinking today about my old friends- the ones back in fayetteville and arkansas etc. what if i went to a bible study tonight with them- but we had all just moved to the same new city? who would talk? how long would it take for me to become friends with them again? and would i think the same things about them now, meeting them as a post-college graduate, then i did when in school? i wonder...i still think i would love absolutely every one of them. i miss old friends. wha ti miss most is the laugh. at least, that is what i miss most right now. i used to laugh very very hard with them- 'hard' isn't even the right word. i descirbed it to someone else as 'the' laugh- one that is free, honest, and deep. one that you don't care if you snort in the middle of it. that's a friend laugh. one day i'll have that here i am sure. it is just taking time. i think i have begun to find the friends i was searching for though. i started going to a bible study and church in park city. that's a cute moutain town/ski resort place about 30 miles north east from salt lake. it's beautiful up there, and cooler in summer than it is in the valley. i am excited about hanging out in park cityt his summer. my ' new' friends make me laugh too, but it is sort of that nervous laugh you make when you have just met a group of funny people. people that you know will one day probably make you laugh 'the' laugh, but right now you are just sort of...a fringer. yueah, that's the word. FRINGER. i don't like being a fringer. my personality wasn't made to be a fringer. eric, on the other hand, was mde to be a fringer. he's good at 'fringing'. that's why he's good for me. i could and will speak more of fringing etc but it is exactly 1900 and that means i get to give report and leave work whoohooo! 1900 is the magic hour when i work a 12 hour shift. it means i don't have to deal with any more requests or demands, and that i get to go home. or in this case, up to park city to bible study to my 'new' friends and my 'fringe'.